My Alzheimer's Journal #23

Alzheimer's is so weird. When I wake in the morning I have no idea what day it is and I have to look at my cell phone or ask Connie to find out. And I hardly ever remember what events or activities are scheduled for that day. But the slightest little thing can spark a long-ago memory.

Just yesterday when I grabbed my towel as I was getting out of the shower I had a flashback to when I was a kid. Mom and Dad took us to the pool to go swimming. They both had beach towels but my brother and I used old bath towels. During the rest period, when the lifeguards made everyone get out of the pool for15 minutes, Mom noticed that my toes were over the end of my towel and she exclaimed that I was getting so big I would need my own beach towel. I was thrilled to hear that. I felt so grown up. And I couldn't wait to lord it over my brother that I had a real beach towel and he was still using a "baby" towel. Unfortunately for my devious plans, our mother felt compelled to buy each of us a beach towel. I never really understood why my parents felt the need to make more babies when they had achieved perfection the first time. Lol.

Anyway, I'm kind of thrilled that today I can remember an epiphany from yesterday.

My Alzheimer's Journal #22

“The return from your work must be the satisfaction which that work brings you and the world's need of that work. With this, life is heaven, or as near heaven as you can get. Without this — with work which you despise, which bores you, and which the world does not need — this life is hell.”
― W.E.B. Du Bois

My "retirement" jobs were preaching for pastors who were out of town and officiating weddings for the God Squad. Both brought me a lot of satisfaction, even joy. Now that I'm no longer able to do either, I feel "jobless." And that too is a kind of hell. Who am I now? What am I?